his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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