I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
