Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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