Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
