I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I need water and some morals
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
