We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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