Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the day after is always just damage control
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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