I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
