before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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