Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
