sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize