you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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