I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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