Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You've changed since you got that strap on
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
