Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
