but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
