OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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