belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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