Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
