I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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