Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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