my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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