I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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