Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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