I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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