If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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