almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
