we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
