Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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