I want you more than these girls want KFC
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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