I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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