i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
