My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
