I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
