There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
