omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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