He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
