They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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