My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
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Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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