Soap is not a condiment
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
