omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need water and some morals
Randomize
