i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
