Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
