i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
