WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize