My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
