You just made me feel so damn special
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
