Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
