She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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