Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
