I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES