if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
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The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"