Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..

  (1-650): View more from California

  You've kissed worse.

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  (650): Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms.. (1-650): You've kissed worse. http://tfl.nu/wvey
  Replies (3) Good night (2234) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.

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  (902): I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out. http://tfl.nu/3h1q
  Replies (13) Good night (893) Bad night (3059) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds

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  (713): Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds http://tfl.nu/uf3z
  Replies (11) Good night (4651) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit

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  (770): Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit http://tfl.nu/tode
  Replies (12) Good night (4082) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion

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  (406): I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion http://tfl.nu/tw2a
  Replies (2) Good night (2668) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.

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  (586): I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/zb2m
  Replies (1) Good night (1939) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

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  (530): Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine http://tfl.nu/asqo
  Replies (36) Good night (2047) Bad night (3990) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang

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  (480): Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang http://tfl.nu/1oo5
  Replies (12) Good night (3975) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.

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  (314): I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/tow2
  Replies (4) Good night (1457) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper

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  (303): he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper http://tfl.nu/eza0
  Replies (13) Good night (456) Bad night (1933) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.

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  (913): You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic. http://tfl.nu/rxwg
  Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.

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  (416): I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job. http://tfl.nu/hsaj
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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  (423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk
  Replies (6) Good night (1552) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits

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  (217): I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits http://tfl.nu/cv3j
  Replies (18) Good night (1454) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.

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  (716): Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night. http://tfl.nu/ed6n
  Replies (0) Good night (183) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt

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