Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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