I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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