found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
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I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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