You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
