at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
