really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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