the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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