I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
