Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
