brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
