Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
