I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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