So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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