I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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