so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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